Satan’s Greatest Lie
Satan says the Church will be raptured.
The truth is the Church is staying here on
this earth. Like God intended.
Christ in us.
The Father and Son dwelling in us.
Never dying.
The rapture denies the Scriptures.
WRMR Radio Presents
Where Rubber Meets The Road
Rupture the Rapture
The Controversy Ended
Read why and thank God it’s OVER!
Read the Transcript below NOW!
WRMR Radio
Where the Rubber Meets the Road
Donald: Hey Mac, I’m hungry! How about you?
Mac: I’m starving, Donald. Why don’t we find a place at the next exit?
Donald: Sounds good to me. Hey, our names, Mac and Donald, remind me; I was reading recently about a person named MacDonald, Margaret MacDonald.
Mac: Don, I’m so hungry, I can almost envision giant, flying french fries. Who’s this, uh, Margaret MacDonald anyway?
Donald: She was a 15-year-old girl in Scotland who went into a trance or vision. In her trance, she saw the saints of the Lord lifted off the earth, sort of like your flying french fries. The vision caused a theory to spread as truth: it’s called “The Rapture.” People zinging off the earth! What a deception and lie. The “big lift off” didn’t happen in the 1800’s (in MacDonald’s time) and it’s not going to happen now! Some false teachers preach that the “Rapture” doctrine was taught by others before her vision, but the early church did not. Frankly, this is all unimportant to me.
Mac: Well, why do you say that?
Donald: Because it’s ridiculous and Satan’s greatest lie, and I can tell you why….
Mac: I don’t want to talk about it. You believe your way, and I’ll believe mine. I’m turning the radio on.
RUPTURE THE RAPTURE
Doc: This is WRMR talk radio, Where the Rubber Meets the Road, broadcasting from Nowhere, Tennessee. We are broadcasting from 888 on your dial. This is your host, Doc Jasper Ument, along with Larry Pharisee. Good morning, Larry. What’s up for today?
Larry: And good morning to you, Doc, and all you folks in Raptureland. Today we are going to talk about that great event in the sky that we all look forward to, the Catching Away, yes, “Caught Up”, into the sweet by and by. I chose this topic because I recently had a dream that none other than Charlie Looseliver went up in the clouds. And it is a true dream!
Doc: Charlie Looseliver! You’ve got to be kidding! Tell me what happened.
Larry: Well, Charlie shot up towards heaven. But within a short time I saw him falling and he didn’t have a parachute. He went splat. I ran over to him to see what happened. I said, “Charlie, why did you come back?” He replied, “I went too early. The sign I read in heaven said, ‘Post trib’.”
Doc: Okay, Larry. It sounds like Charlie was ruptured, and you, too, with that wacky dream.
Larry: Watch your tongue, Doc. Now back to today’s topic, The Rapture. Please call in at 1-800-FLY-AWAY or 1-800-359-2929.
1-800-NO-WHERE
Doc: This topic has been so controversial that it has even affected some marriages. With us in the studio today are husband and wife, Hecter and Haley Hooch. Hecter’s quite concerned that his wife, Haley, believes in the rapture. What’s the problem, Hecter?
Hecter: Well, every night my wife sleeps with her makeup and lipstick on and wearing satin slacks.
Larry: Is this true, Haley?
Haley: Yes, it is, Larry. You see, Hec knows that I don’t go anywhere without my makeup on. And if the Lord comes in the middle of the night to rapture us, I want to be fully dressed, and ready.
Larry: Yeah, Ready to Rapture!
Hecter: She always wears the same red slacks to bed. She could at least wear a nightgown sometimes, but nooo!
Doc: Why is that, Haley?
Haley: Well, I’m not stupid, Doc. I don’t want to be in nightwear when I’m caught up. Would any woman?
Larry: She does have a point, Hecter.
Hecter: But isn’t the true Christian garmented with righteousness and praise? “The bride has made herself ready” is not about a white bridal dress made of silk or red slacks.
Doc: That’s true. Haley, what’s your response to that?
Haley: I agree, but it is going to be sudden; that’s why I always want to be ready. I installed an elaborate alarm system in my attic with these extra powerful speakers so that when I fly through the roof, the alarm will sound. I want my neighbors to know. It’s my Christian duty to alarm everybody in my city. They’ll see it. I even got this huge sunroof in our Hummer and drive with it open so I won’t hurt my head by going through the roof if I am riding when the rapture comes.
Hecter: She wanted me to put tear away shingles on the house roof. When she told me that, I nearly went through the roof myself. It’s not just that, Larry and Doc, she even wants to give our Hummer away.
Haley: That’s right! Why do I need a Hummer if I’m going to fly away?
Larry: That reminds me of a song, “I’ll fly away, oh glory”. A true song. Truth.
Hecter: Oh jeepers! You are crazy! The only song I’m singing is “I’m here to stay, oh glory, and that Hummer is staying with me”. And, to back me up, read Isaiah 45:18 where it says the Lord created the earth to be inhabited. And check Psalms 37.
Doc: Well, there you have it, folks! Now let’s open up our phone lines and see what our listeners have to say about this topic. But first a word from our sponsor.
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ContinueDoc: This is WRMR radio. We are back broadcasting “Rupture the Rapture”, and we have our first caller. Go ahead, caller. Hello.
First caller: Hello. Am I on the air?
Larry: Yes, you are, and today’s topic is the Rapture. What do you have to say?
First caller: This rapture thing is a lie from hell. I agree with your guest, Hecter. I, too, have the scripture. It’s in Psalms 37:9; “For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth”. Even Jesus said,”The meek shall inherit the earth.” The righteous people of the Lord shall inherit the land forever. We’re not going anywhere!
Larry: Thank you, caller. Haley, what do you think about that?
Haley: But we’re going. We are going….
Doc: Where?
Haley: In the air. On the air.
Doc: We are on the air.
Haley: No, in the air.
Doc: Isn’t the air here?
Haley: Oh, you are getting me all confused.
Larry: It’s time for a new caller.
Doc: The scripture, and the rest of Psalm 37 that the caller mentioned, sounds convincing.
Larry: It didn’t convince me. Let’s see what caller number two has to say. Go ahead, caller.
Caller #2 (Woman): Hello, Larry and Doc. I have been a fan of yours for years. And of course there is a rapture! I’ve even put a schedule and work list up on the refrigerator for my husband, so that when I am raptured, he will know what to do.
Larry: Well, wouldn’t it be better to try to get your husband raptured with you?
Caller #2: Oh, he doesn’t come to church. He thinks my pastor is a hypocrite. He’ll never make it to be raptured. So my part is to show him how to run the family.
Hector: That’s responsible.
Doc: Okay, caller. Thank you very much. Larry, the switchboard is going crazy. Look at all these calls. I hope we have time for all of them. Go ahead caller. You are on the air.
THE RAPTURE IS AGAINST CHRIST
Joyce: Hello, my son-in-law, Eric, and I are stuck in traffic on the way to Chattanooga, and stuck with each other too. My cell phone has a speaker-phone attachment so you can hear both of us. We are in hot dispute about your topic of discussion.
Larry: What is the dispute?
Joyce: I know there is a rapture. He says there isn’t.
Doc: What is your take on this, Eric?
Eric: I don’t believe anyone is going to fly away. Mom, you believe you are going to fly away?
Joyce: Yes.
Eric: Won’t your arms get tired?
Joyce: I don’t mean really fly.
Eric: How many types of fly are there? Don’t birds fly?
Joyce: We won’t flap our arms.
Eric: Oh, so you’ll grow wings?
Joyce: No.
Eric: Well, how will you fly?
Joyce: I don’t know how. I just know we’ll fly and I don’t want to be left behind.
Eric: Where is flying away mentioned in the scriptures? In Matthew 24, doesn’t it say “as the days of Noah were” and “two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left?”
Joyce: Yes.
Eric: How can you read anything else into this? What happened to Noah?
Joyce: He was taken.
Eric: No, he was left. The wicked were taken or destroyed from off the earth.
Joyce: But Noah was saved.
Eric: Correct. He didn’t go anywhere. There is no Ark Airlines.
Joyce: Oh drats! He’s got me on that one. And I have always prayed to be taken….
Eric: If you study Thessalonians, you’ll see it is not about being caught away but coming right back here. Paul makes it plain in II Thessalonians, “When he shall come to be glorified in his saints.” He is coming here and we’re not going anywhere. But he is coming. Even Enoch prophesied, “Behold the Lord cometh with 10,000 of his saints.” He is coming. We are not going. Jesus is coming for a church, in a church, and with a church. And that is here on the earth. You want to be left behind.
Joyce: Boy, that all makes sense. But… it’s so hard to not want to get out of here.
Hecter: Christ wants us here. John 17. Because of Jesus, evil never wins. God keeps us from evil.
Doc: Great discussion, but we are going to have to go on to the next caller.
Eric: Mom, it’s all in the scriptures.
Joyce: Now I know why my daughter married you, because you know the Word.
Eric: Mom, it’s because I love Jesus and his Word.
THE RAPTURE IS SATAN’S GREATEST LIE
Doc: Isn’t that beautiful, folks? It was resolved by the true Word of God and love. We have time for one more short call before a commercial break.
ContinueCaller #4: I looked up the word ‘Rapture’ in the dictionary. “Rapture” is “a state of experience of being carried away by overwhelming emotions, or a mystical experience in which the spirit is exalted to a knowledge of divine things”. Nothing is said about your body leaving this earth to meet the Lord.
Haley: You mean all the great pastors are wrong? Can’t be. They’re all over the radio and on TV.
Caller #4: There shall be false teachers, that’s what Peter the Apostle says. And these are false. This is, according to Peter, a “damnable heresy.”
Doc: Well that sheds a different light on it. And it’s a perfect time to hear from our local sponsor.
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Larry: This is WRMR radio, Where Rubber Meets The Road. We are back discussing what is – according to the phone lines – obviously a very hot topic. And someone new has joined our guests, Hecter and Haley Hooch, in the studio. His name is Rick Hardstone. He’s a friend of Hecter’s. But I must ask him a question. Rick, why are you wearing a helmet?
Rick: Di… Did..Didn’t you hear that all the planets are lined up? So today is probably the day the Lord will come back and the rapture will take place. I don’t want my head to hurt if I’m in a building when it happens.
Hecter: Rick, don’t you know that there is no rapture?
Rick: What? Hecter, you better be careful. That’s sacrilegious.
Hecter: You’ve got to be kidding. Do you mean to tell me that you still believe there is a rapture? After our last two discussions.That doesn’t even make sense. Boy are you a hardhead!
Rick: Well what about I Thessalonians 4, Hector? My friend. Amigo. (“Me-Go-Amigo song”)
Hecter: What about it? There is no scriptural basis for the rapture. Those false teachers misinterpret Thessalonians. I call them Bail-Outs, because they are Diaper-wearing whimps. Let me quote I Thessalonians for you. “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.”
Rick: You see! We are going to be raptured up to heaven when the Lord comes.
Hecter: The Lord shall descend from heaven, Hardstone. That means he is coming down, down to where He will come for his church. The clouds are the great cloud of witnesses spoken of in Hebrews. Of course, the dead will be brought up; they’re in holes in the ground. God will raise them up out of the earth to take their place along side those “which are alive and remain”. When it speaks of those that remain, it is saying they never went anywhere. They remained. In the air speaks of where air is, which is here, on earth, not somewhere else. I should call these false teachers “AirHeads” No, no, no. “Helium Heads.” That’s the only way they are going to fly.
ContinueDoc: Okay, gentlemen. We’ve got to get back to our phone lines. Go ahead, next caller.
Caller #6: When in the history of the world has anyone escaped during God’s judgment? Noah didn’t leave the earth while the wicked were destroyed. The children of Israel escaped the death angel by entering into their homes and putting blood over the doorposts, not escaping to another country or flying off. Moses and the children of Israel crossed through the Red Sea, they didn’t fly over it. Look at the Book of Martyrs; China and the Sudan today. God’s people have always stayed on the earth.
Doc: Thank you, caller. I have two minutes left. Go ahead caller. You are on the air.
Caller #7: Thank you, Doc. My question to those who believe in the rapture is: Why have the armour of God if you’re going to escape? God has always made a way of escape but it hasn’t been by flying away from the enemy. It was facing up to it and going through it. The rewards in Revelation are to the “Overcomer” not to the “Flyer-Awayer”.
When Paul was caught up to the third heaven, was that in the Spirit or in the flesh? It was in the Spirit. It was not like he got on an elevator in a department store. Third floor, deep revelations and visions. Fourth floor to heliport! Leaving for the heavens. Paul went nowhere, but saw into the mysteries of God. Here.
THE WICKED ARE TAKEN AS IN THE DAYS OF NOAH
Larry: Thank you. And now radio audience, we have my Pastor on line. Welcome Pastor Ounces. What do you have to say about the Rapture?
Ounces: Hello, Larry. I have plenty to say. The Lord is calling us home soon and we shall fly off this earth into the sweet by and by. I went to the best Bible College in the country and was taught by the best theologians. I got straight A’s. And they said we are going to fly away and escape God’s judgment.
Larry: Well, there you have it, folks. We have heard from the expert…
Doc: Now hold the phone, Larry. This discussion is not concluded. It doesn’t matter what the Bible College’s philosophy is or what the theologians believe. It is rather, what does the Bible say, and your pastor hasn’t said anything about that. Pastor Ounces, what scripture can you give to support your belief?
Ounces: Well, it was just quoted by your guest, Hecter, only he has the wrong interpretation. I believe that only the pastors have the knowledge or understanding to interpret.
Doc: Oh really? Where is that written in the Bible?
Ounces: I have a degree in Scriptural Studies.
Hecter: Did Jesus have a degree? Did the apostles, unlearned men, have degrees? They knew the Word, and they never preached this lie.
Doc: Perhaps you should have spent more time reading the Bible than listening to theologians. Thank you for calling, pastor. And we only have time for one more call. I want to thank all the callers in today’s program. Go ahead. You are on the air.
The Last Caller
The Rapture: The Lie
Doc: Well now you’ve heard it. That is a perfect ending to our program.
Larry: I’m going to be ready. I’m with you, Haley. I’m going to iron my slacks and wear them to bed.
Doc: Larry, didn’t you hear what the callers said? Didn’t you hear the scriptures?
Larry: I heard Haley and my pastor and I want a helmet like Rick has.
Doc: Well, then when will you be raptured? Will it be pre-trib, mid-trib or post-trib? Or perhaps we should rename it to pre-crib, mid-crib and post-crib because all this is, is a big cry-baby theory. You don’t believe that Christ can take you through it. You do not know the Word.
Larry: I do so. I go to church every week and hear it there.
Doc: Oh! What does that amount to? A short paragraph?
Larry: Now Doc…
Doc: Well my name isn’t Doc Ument for nothing, and, Larry, you need to document this program. Open your eyes and your ears. Search it out for yourself.
This is Doc Jasper Ument and Larry Pharisee saying, have a good morning. Say ‘Good morning’, Larry.
Larry Pharisee: Good morning Larry.
Donald: (Radio turned off) Well Mac, what do you think about that program?
Mac: I need to go read the Bible. Many good points were brought up that I’ve never seen before. My belief in the rapture was just ruptured and has flown out the window.
Donald: Good for you. You need the meat of the Word. Let’s go celebrate and eat steak instead of flying french fries.